Social Q's: How to Survive the Quirks, Quandaries and Q… (2024)

Disappointing. I love etiquette books but this one gave bad advice and normalized inappropriate behavior. Under the guise of addressing "modern" issues, a range of outrageous behavior was addressed. I couldn't even enjoy the book as a guilty pleasure - it was too outrageous and vulgar.

There were also disappointingly few questions. It was mainly the author pontificating his opinions in essay format. It was more about his morals and values than etiquette. Opinions (especially uninformed ones) are a dime a dozen.

Galanes writes an etiquette column for the New York Times. This is a collection of some of those pieces, plus lengthier advice on (bluntly) how not to be an ass in this brave new world.

I love advice columns and etiquette columns, because (like everyone else) I think I’m an expert at both. (Turns out I’m correct with etiquette 99% of the time!)

The one percent where I was wrong? Turns out that if you want to be called by your first name but the parents want their kids to call you “Miss Kelly,” the parents win.

(I still maintain that if they want their children to be polite, the rules of politeness dictate calling the acquaintance what they want to be called, but whatever. Galanes gets paid to do this, so I will admit that I was wrong. Sorry, Janie and Steve!)

One of the most interesting parts of the world is how best to deal with the internet. Obviously part of it is very obvious (if you are Facebook friends with your boss, do not bash the job and do not ever post pictures of yourself on the beach if you’ve taken a sick day) but there are parts that are more open to interpretation, too.

For example, when is it okay to defriend someone (or to refuse to friend them in the first place)? I generally don’t defriend people at all, because it’s rude and similar to throwing a temper tantrum. There’s a hide button for a reason, you know? And how do you deal with breakups? (Your own or someone else’s? Like who gets custody of you if your friends break up? Because you can’t really stay friends with both.)

But this is a very interesting and funny book. Recommended (even if you’re already polite).

This was a fun book with the author giving his opinion, usually witty and wise, on a variety of today's "most awkward and pressing questions."

"What's 'fashionable' is what I'm wearing. What's 'unfashionable' is what she has on."

In answer to a question of a woman regarding the character of a man she met on a dating site: "Stop communicating with him. This guy is a creep and a liar, probably married and --even worse-- using seriously outdated photos of himself in his online profile."

"A calm word, delivered at the right moment, does wonders."

"If our neighbors can hear our music at their place, then it's too loud."

"We only get one family. When they're gone, we can't replace them. So it's worth going the extra mile to keep them in our lives. You never know when you might need a bone-marrow transplant."

"We've all done foolish things we regret -- not auditioning for American Idol when it came to town, letting our sister talk us into boys, invading Iraq."

Response to a woman with a problem sister-in-law): "Remember 50% of marriages end in divorce. With any luck, your brother's will be one of them."

"Don't underestimate the pleasure of being 'the bigger person.'"

OK. I know I own far too many etiquette books. It all started in 1968: Emily Post's Pocket Book of Etiquette which I read cover to cover--even the chapters on proper comportment vis a vis servants--info I've never needed. Philip Galanes (by contrast) is well-versed in 21st century behaviors (good and bad). Even if his advise may be a bit off at times, there is always fun to be found in his humor and pop-culture references--even his snarkiness. It is, admittedly, a guilty pleasure. Downside: this book is lost on people who actually need a book on good manners and probably unappreciated by people you want to send it to as a birthday gift!

Fun for fans of advice/etiquette columns, but my oh my is Galanes snarky! Also, I might not follow any of this advice.

Funniest thing I ever laid my eyes on!

I picked this book up from the etiquette section of my library so I thought it would be a book about manners and such. While it is about manners and such it was in a different format than I expected.

This book is from a newspaper columnist who has essentially combined all his given advice into a book you can learn from without having to write in about your own problem. It's broken into sections for each kind of issue (dealing with strangers, family issues, talking to bosses, etc) and then gives a rubric of sorts for how to solve the problem yourself with excerpts from people who'd written in to the column.

While it wasn't what I was expecting I was pleasantly surprised. I will say though, since this book is a little on the old side some of the references may be lost on you depending on your age (lots of references to the Mary Tyler Moore show which was on the 70s for example).

I always enjoy reading Philip's responses in the Sunday NYT so I figured a full book of them would be wonderful. I enjoyed how they were grouped and the simple advice that came with each type of dilemma. I would say my main disappointment was that I was expecting just a book full of stories and was not prepared for the monologues. It was fun to read but I can't think of a situation in which I would recommend it to someone looking to add to their To-Read list.

The heart of etiquette is kindness, and Philip Galanes is a sort of kindness ninja. He seems to magically come up with the kindest parry to any unkind thrust of modern manners. At the same time, he is anything but a milquetoast. In fact, his wit is as sharp as that line-jumper's elbows. With elegant writing and well-reasoned responses, Galanes is an expert guide through today's social terrain.

I purchased this book based on the author’s interview on NPR. That discussion captivated me so I found myself expecting a bit more sight from him in the book. It’s still a good read but I think it could have been better.

I read the Social Q's section of the Times religiously, so this was fun to have all the answers and principles in one place.

This was a spunky quick read of funny social situations one must navigate. Though subjective it was a fun read.

My favourite column in the New York Times

I love the author's sense of humour. The questions spanned most scenarios and his answers always ring true. I read it in one day.

Way too cute-sy and glib. Not at all what I expected after reading his NY Times column.

A long-time admirer of Philip Galanes’s sassy etiquette column for the New York Times, I’ve actually solicited his advice on two occasions: once for help in settling a dispute with roommates over a security deposit, and once seeking guidance on how to “break up” with my hair stylist after she moved to an exorbitant high-end salon. Galanes has yet to address my queries (I’m still overpaying for highlights, Philip!) but I bought his book Social Q’s anyway. After years of reading a column a week, gaining access to so many servings at once was like bringing home a full-size cheesecake when you’re used to just a single decadent sliver after dinner on special occasions. I couldn’t stop.

If you’re a fan of the column, that you’ll enjoy the book is a no-brainer. Galanes organizes some of his most memorable Q&As, as well as previously unreleased material, according to the daily routines and unexpected hiccups that trigger our internal “SOS!” From tolerating the coworker who blindly saddles you with an unwelcome nickname, to when you should resist the urge to text and place an old-fashioned phone call, he doles out practical advice with his signature irreverence. As the introduction states, this is “not your mummy’s advice column” (thank God).

My one qualm with Social Q’s is that what comes across as sharp wit in a short newspaper column is occasionally stretched to the point of cheesiness in the longer format. For instance, I found the repeated reference to Scarlett O’Hara’s signature bitch slap during the breakup chapter a little tiresome, and the “now you try it!” prompts for readers to contemplate their own response to queries a little patronizing. At the end of the day, though, the scenarios in Social Q’s are relatable and Galanes’s responses are on-point and hilarious.

Read it: on the subway, before the office holiday party, or any other time you’re being subjected to unavoidable awkwardness and need some pointers – or a laugh.

Admittedly I am not the kind of person who'll actually read advice columns - which often are either condescending or leave you even more puzzled than before - but I didn't even know that Social Q's has its roots there before I started reading. I simply assumed it would be a modern view on etiquette. With a humorous touch. Luckily this book, based on the respective NY Times column by Philip Galanes, is a far stretch from regular advice on etiquette, but instead a witty read that really does give good tips on the quirks, quandaries and quagmires of today.
Often laugh out loud funny the author tackles the questions aka problems of readers of his column and shares his collected wisdom on all kinds of everyday questions that leave you stranded simply because you don't know just how to react in a situation when eg your boss has got a serious problem with BO, or your friend's kids ruin your couch and the parents end up blaming you for it.
Though the most important aspect of the whole book is how you don't just get simple answers, every situation is different after all. Giving easy instructions on how to figure out which way best to proceed - remain silent, talk it out, or call a lawyer - you'll actually learn how to find your own answers, which is probably the smartest advice you can get.
In short: Need lighthearted advice about awkward social situations? Read this book!

This is a book by a New York Times advice columnist. I thought it was intriguing because many of the the situations the author answers, advises or gives his opinions on are updated situations, geared toward younger people. He uses lots of humor. It was not laugh out loud humor, but Ok. I guess the bottom line is, sometimes you just have to suck it up. I guess things have not change that much over the years. You have to get along with family, neighbors, friends, etc. Sometimes this is hard to do because they are really annoying. You really do have to "Friend" your cousin on Facebook to keep family harmony.

I like his columns more than this book - a little too "perky" and blithe - plus occasionally careless with advice, in my opinion. That being said, it was fun lunchtime reading and being a little over the top in how to respond to people is a fun fantasy! I also began to appreciate his "least resistance" approach - prioritize what's important and aim for the most ease to insure good long-term relationships! (...while taking care of yourself - but just give everyone a little slack ...we all make mistakes and it's better to be forgiving than vicious!)

Social Q's is to be commended for espousing a simple and coherent etiquette ethos: avoid escalating conflict whenever reasonably possible. Unlike the instructions of many etiquette writers, rather than seeming arbitrary, the author's suggestions are almost enlightened with regard to their adherence to the aforementioned dictum. However, Galanes wastes most of the book making unfunny pop-culture references and providing entirely unhelpful mnemonic devices. I would have recommended the book much more highly if it consisted only of questions and their responses.

This book is witty, wise and worthwhile. The author, a lawyer and NY Times advice columnist, provides practical wisdom for navigating modern etiquette minefields. Inside you’ll find gems like “People who succeed at work are never the ones who look like they just finished a shift at Scores.” Throughout this book he provides tips about how to view situations which gives you a framework for creating your own solutions. His advice is entertaining but more importantly is grounded in respecting those you interact with and yourself.

This book was pure fun. The author has a great sense of humor, and his message can be summed up in a few words... "Be kind and generous in speaking and in action." The letters he receives in his advice column in the NY Times are used as the spring-off point for a discussion of how to react in different likely situations of today. Much more amusing than Emily Post and Dear Abby. I give it four stars, not for the writing, but for the sensitivity and sensibility of the advice offered.

Funny, charming, and good advice about different life situations. Galanes has a witty writing style and sometimes comes off a bit catty but in the end, he encourages the reader to err on the side of caution and silence, so that family relations remain smooth and bridges aren't burned. A fun read and it made me feel like I'm pretty normal, especially compared to some of the outrageous people needing his help.

I'm one of those crazy people who reads etiquette books for entertainment. I must have ordered this one based on a review. While there's nothing much new in the manners world (apply the Golden Rule would sum it all up), this book is interesting in that it gives more than just an answer to questions, but also a rubric to follow when considering similar problems. An answer tends to be question specific, a way of evaluating situations is much more helpful.

Philip Galanes' short book on etiquette is a fun, easy read with a good message: be kind.
Not necessarily unique, Galanes' witty urgings that we be patient, listen, consider others, and be kind are wrapped in interesting and fun questions posed to him through the New York Times' Sunday Styles sections "Social Qs." Frankly, we can all use reminders to be ethical and turn the other cheek, and this is an entertaining vehicle for that message.

I understand the message this book gives: to approach critiquing people in a gentle way because people have feelings that get hurt easily. That was it. The entire message of this book. And ever single example was a similar story of the exact same thing: you can influence people but you can't be direct because people dislike bossy people. But seriously, other than that, it was a complete waste of time and money.

While I don't always agree with the author's advice, some of the tools he uses to get there seemed really useful. Of particular interest to me were the beauty matrix (I wish I would have used that when considering bangs), the hygiene test when deciding whether to intercede (health risk?; power in the relationship?; Possible backdraft?) this could come in really handy at work.

This is a great little book on modern etiquette. While it's not comprehensive, its strength is in showing the reasoning behind the right thing to do, which lets you extrapolate advice from one particular situation to other similar situations. Galanes is smart and witty and a direct writer, which made this book easy to breeze through.

This was a quick fun read (which I needed after my last book). I heard the author interviewed on All Things Considered and was intrigued. The book provided all kinds of common sense advice for today's gadget obsessed life. And BTW--no, it is not appropriate to break up with someone over a text message.

Plus-
humorous
like that he breaks down situations by equations, giving you the option to interpret how he would handle a similar but different question

negatives-
found people's concerns tedious/mean/little
too often felt that he agreed with the tedious (nothing worse than someone says Paree vrs Pariss)
not as helpful as I anticipated

I just came across this book and picked it up to read without knowing anything about it. It is great! So funny! It is an advice column type of book with very up to date advice on life. This book was easy to read and very enjoyable. It will make you laugh. I recommend this book for the humor and for the wisdom found in the author's writing.